My name is Daphne NJIE Efundem. I was raped as a child by someone whom I don’t remember. I have lived through a series of depressions, anxiety and panic attacks and a deterioration of my health due to the trauma I’ve been through. I suffer from panic attacks and throw up every time I try to get intimate because I get the strong smell of his sweat and flashbacks of the scene. After my first relationship ended, I couldn’t forgive myself for letting a man into me again. Things got worse when someone I confided in said to me, “look at this one who doesn’t even remember who took her virginity.” At that point, I shut down completely. I felt like a dirty, worthless thing. In 2013, I was diagnosed with a medical condition but could not get treatment due to my fear of penetration of anything into my vagina. I have dated a number of guys who couldn’t understand why I couldn’t have sex. Some of them thought I was Lesbian, some thought I had sold my vagina demonically for success in my career, some just believed that as an artist I was sleeping around thus the reason why I couldn’t have sex with them. It’s been almost ten years since I had sex. My health got worse over the years. In the end of 2018, I was rushed to the hospital after fainting from acute pain and after analysis the doctor said the most important test for my condition couldn’t be conducted because I was suffering from “Vaginismus”. He referred me to a psychologist/psychiatrist, Dr Eyoum, where I started therapy. Through therapy, I have been able to overcome my depressions, I’m less anxious, more confident in who I am and in my abilities. By cutting my hair, I threw away everything that hindered my growth in one way or another (though it was also done in support of a strong Woman fighting with Cancer). I can say I’m “born again” ready to be a woman again, assertive, assuming, fearless, fully empowered and empowering. I am still work in progress but quite optimistic. Today I call on you all to follow my foundation @bewomanbydaphne. Together, let’s fight against this increasing evil act of sexual abuse and encourage mental and psychological health care through therapy to enable our girls/women with hindrance.
Said Daphne on Instagram.